The best players in the world beat themselves silly trying to win the 1998 U.S. Open. The commercial breaks during the Open’s television coverage were sprinkled with ads from the USGA. Softly lit, full of leafy backgrounds, heartwarming stories, and dramatic voice-overs, the ads stressed how the USGA is the caretaker of the game and its complex set of rules.

By comparison, Henry Beard brings to the rules of golf the same demented but logically consistent qualities as Bill Murray did for greens keepers in Caddyshack. The newest edition of this book, which added at least 20 new rules to the earlier volume, is laugh-out-loud funny, and makes perfect sense.

Beard understands that in everyday golf, there absolutely should be a rule permitting a mass mulligan for an entire foursome; so he wrote the rule for it. He understands that in every golfer’s life, there’s a wayward drive that is so high, so wide, and so bad that you should be able to immediately hit another ball without a penalty; so he wrote the rule for it.

Beard knows most golfers have lost a ball they saw land in the middle of their own fairway, only to have it swallowed up in the half-inch turf, never to be seen. Since that occurrence violates all of the laws of physics and basic fairness, there ought to be a rule to permit dropping a new ball where the original surely would have landed, if it ever did, without a penalty stroke. So he wrote the rule for it. Seems perfectly logical to me—how about you?

In the best tradition of parodies, Beard’s Rules are written in the same dry, serious tone as the actual USGA Rules they mock. The illustrations are also perfectly drawn. They are as deadly earnest in their renditions as Beard’s text is in explaining how these rules operate.

If you have no sense of humor about golf, this book is not for you. On the other hand, if you are in the golfing majority, take a break from the instruction books and enjoy this light piece of fun.

Review date: June 27, 1998

Hole By Hole's
Recommendation For:

The Official Exceptions to the Rules of Golf

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The Official Exceptions to the Rules of Golf: The Hacker’s Bible
By Henry Beard

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