Thanks be to Pelz for his Short Game Bible
November 19, 1999
In the Beginning, all was Darkness and Void.
For on golf courses throughout the land, pros and amateurs looketh to the heavens. Verily, their short games didst suck.
Chip shots were flubbethed, and pitch shots fleweth over the greens into the waters beyond. And woe to those poor souls who found themselves in the valleys of sand.
And there was much wailing, and gnashing of teeth, and bending of the club shafts against the knees.
And lo, there came forth a former NASA engineer named Pelz. For he had studied this game, yea, even unto the mind-numbing collection of scoring data from many golf professionals. And those data were like unto a thousand points of golfing light, which illuminated the short game to Pelz.
And so, Pelz devoted himself to imparting the wisdom he had thus gained from his extensive study. His knowledge and teaching paid off handsomely for Pelz’ disciples, such as the apostle Kite, the apostle Janzen, the apostle Jacobsen, and many others.
And it came to pass that Pelz put on great shows on the religious broadcasts of The Golf Channel. Yea also, in the desert he provided a place for his disciples and followers to spend one to three days in extensive teaching sessions, where they learned great things, such as the cut lob shot, the 15 yard pitch, and the benefits of the fourth wedge, even unto the 64th degree thereof.
But all was not yet well with all golfers’ short games, for while the shows were seen by many, and hundreds came to the teaching sessions, thousands demanded to learn more.
And so, The Teacher created Dave Pelz’s Short Game Bible, and it is good.
For The Book runneth over with great stuff, beyond the 426-page length that surpriseth and delighteth his followers. For those who demandeth, like unto the Apostle Thomas, to see before he would believeth, Pelz more than meeteth their needs.
Like most engineers, Pelz believeth himself in empirical data and the wisdom to be gained thereby, and hoo boyeth, the data are here. Any readers that continueth to disbelieve after Pelz explaineth his statistical reasons for his tips should probably be cast out, for verily, they are beyond redemption.
For as Pelz sayeth:
He who rules the Short Game collects the gold.
Readers of The Book shall learn of the finesse swing, the 3 x 4 System for developing 12 consistent shots with four wedges, and mucheth else. In addition to the statistics, Pelz showeth with many pictures, parables, and practice tips how to improveth one’s game around the green. The chapter on chipping and the bump-and-run shot is particularly good, as is the chapter on sand play.
Pelz believeth in practicing what he preacheth. At Pelz:11.3:328, the Teacher giveth all readers a ten-part playing test of short game skills, from which one can determine a short-game handicap. This test appeareth to have great value, yea even beyond the price of the book.
The Short Game Bible is to be the first in a series of four books on scoring in golf. One wonders if the other books will be as long.
On the other hand, if this book is any indication, the new books will be just as useful. Amen and Alleluia!